I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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