I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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