Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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