where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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