Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
