Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
