is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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