FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
