If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
its liver damage thursday
I think i got beer on your cat.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
