ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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