Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
