this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
