she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
