I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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