Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
