Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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