I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
