...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
