So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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