Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He kissed a someone with a penis
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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