Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
