why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
