just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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