please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Text me some of your sweat
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