Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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