grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
