I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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