True but thats because hes a fetus.
I want to have your abortion
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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