ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
