If i come over, it means nothing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
