I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
