I could make wine with my vomit
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
only you would photoshop your dick
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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