I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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