he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
