did you get engaged???
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
