so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
