Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
