Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
