WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
