I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
