That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
