I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
