did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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