It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
