Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
