Sry I called you an 8
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
