I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
