I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
