Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
