Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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