I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
